Once in a lifetime

Recently i officially become 23 years old. 22nd of February will always be my favorite date. Truth to be told, I am truly grateful for this year. On that very day I received another one achievement not only for myself but it is also a gift that i able to give to my parent, my family. For a two special things to occur in life at the same time is not something that can pass by easily, therefore for me it is something that can happened once in a life time. You just never know when it will happen again right?  For this year celebration also i am touched by the love and wishes given by my family and friends. Honestly, i am not expecting anything at all.. They do surprised me with so many thoughts. Knowing that this will be the last time for us being here in the university saddened me a lot. This will be our last semester together and after that everyone will go walking on their own path. I know that i was never the best person in conveying or expressing my love for people around me, but they will always be there in my mind and heart. I know that the separation is nearing but whatever time that i have to spend with these precious people, I'll be sure to appreciate it and hoping that it will stay just for a little longer. Dear god, thank you for blessing me with so many great things in life and love. The journeys and the experiences so far has been great to me. I know there will be more to come and I hope that you will ease it for me and keep on guiding me. 💖

Suddenly

Suddenly. It is a word that can be use when something occur without you planning it. It can be a memory, person and even a feeling.

Miss. It is a word with a 2 meanings. One is when you missed your chance to do something and another is an emotion of longing towards someone.

Lately yeah, suddenly my mind were invaded by the old person and i am overwhelmed with the feeling of missing him. She has been asking me "have you truly moved on?" and i have been asking "Do i truly let go?". The answers to it may be yes or no, even i cannot be so sure. They say to let go something that you once truly love is never an easy thing to do. Letting go doesn't mean you stopped things. It means slowly you are learning to accept the fact that whether it's meant to be or not, your heart can still make it forward,just like that song "my heart will go on" by Celine Dion.

One step at a time :)

Wow it's already 2017 huh? times do flies real fast. Ten years back, I would have never expected that my life will turned out to be this way. I wouldn't called those days as the dark days, but I can surely said that at that time I couldn't even see the future. It was only me living my life without any purposes.

 A 13 years old girl that has a very low self esteemed. If I were to meet my old self that 13 years old girl, i would tell her that don't change whatever you are doing now, experienced it all the bad and good things in life at that time, keep all those good and bad memories with you. No regrets, live your life that way because all the things that you experienced at that time will make the future you strong and wise. Patience, remember that your name itself do brings good vibes in your life and always remained patience going through the future just like your name. Don't worry in the next 2 years that light of revelation will finally come upon you and at that time too just go with the flow. Though you might not end up with all the things that you have planned on but trust me, it will be just fine, things will go just fine. Your dreams actually came true though in a different way. Just believe in whatever you are believing in at that time, along the time you will know what is it that you truly like and what kind of person you truly are. Take time slowly to learned the lessons that your life will gave to you in the future.

Now the present me also wanted to say the same thing to the future me. I wonder what will become in the next 10 years to come but i don't want to really ponder upon it because i want to just live the best i can for now and grab all the good opportunities for the future me as well. I don't know what the future holds but i'm sure whatever i am doing right now is also for the better future of me too. No regrets, i tend to keep living out my life that way. Good or bad, I will take it all with an open heart and believe that no matter what, i have my family with me and most of all Allah swt is always there right from the beginning guiding me. :)

Differences

It's funny how people perceive others. I always believe that beauty indeed lie in the eyes of the beholder itself. It differs according to people and mostly between man and women. Today i witness something that again make me wonder on the same question for the past few years. Why is it this kind of girl that people always like or interested with. What she portrays was not how she really is. People never realize or know how to differentiate between stones and diamonds. These people claiming that they can love someone for forever. well here's the bitter truth, nothing last forever in this life. Every beginning consist of the ending and every living things will die when their time comes. The only thing that will always be with you is you yourself and your God. I used to think before that i can't wait to meet the right person, someone that i can love and will love me back too but then again after a certain period in my life I finally realize that i should put too much hope on that. I am still young and yet to live my life to the fullest. I still wanted to do all the things that i want to do and go to all the places that i want to go too. So, by having a full commitment in relationship is not something that i am ready to have now. There are times where i feel so alone and wanting someone by my side, but that was just for a spur of moment. So then again although i don't get how and why people like them can easily get love in their life, i will always be grateful to God for always protecting me and loving me .

Hello!

Dear Bloggy,

wow it's been 2 years already since the last time i update heck even open this blog of mine. Honestly, a lot of things has changed since then. The last of was about me going to the place of dream right and yeah i am so thankful that i get the opportunities going there for my studies. It was such a great experience in life i say. I met a lot of new people and make new friends. each of them left a big impact on me. the journey, experience and lessons along the way left a big print on my life. I even found a part or side of me that i didn't even knew exist. somehow all that changed me to who i am today. Returned from Korea did changed me a lot. Well maybe i did not changed, i am just becoming more of myself.? yes that's what it is.

A lot of things whirling in my head and i got so many things to say and even write. Especially all the memories and life lessons that I've learned. I wish to write all those things so that i could read it back again in the future and be reminded of it. I 'll try to write more and update this page frequently. I believe this is a good way for me to just let everything out inside of me and write my content to the fullest. One thing i can say is that the person I am now got no time at all for things that relate to lovey dovey things. No more fantasizing on the things that seems not relevant to me. It's all about life now, work, money and dreams that should be chased and not be distracted by merely petty things. I'll share more on the story of my life during the exchange period in Korea. :)   

:)

Wow, it's been a while i guess since the last time i update my blog. heh i guess i've been busy with my studies and other stuffs.. and maybe because of the will to write was not there at the time.. ~.~ Hurmmm so many things happened in my life. I could say that i finally get the chance in my life to go to the place of my dream. InsyaAllah i'll go there next year in February :)

*sigh* life as an University student is tiring. I'm exhausted since these few weeks will be the last weeks before this semester ends. So many research papers, proposals and presentations that i need to get done with. I seriously can't wait for this semester to end T.T

i do realize that lately i've been a bit grumpier than ever..haha that's not good. Some peoples life's are a bit different than the others i guess. To say that i hate money or wealth, that's not it. I guess i tend to distance myself from the people that i find a little bit different from me. That is also a bad thing to do right? *sigh* i don't really know about myself lately.. It's like i'm becoming someone that is not me or someone that i never know exist in me.. I think these are all caused by the assignments and stress here..yeahh i think it is.

Tchh well nevermind that. I guess i should stop now. I still need to finish some of my assignments. Well, i'll update soon whenever i feel like it. :)

p/s: owh and silly, stay safe and healthy wherever you might be..ILY <3 :="" nbsp="" p="">

Lazy here..lazy there..laziness everywhere ~___~

so now i've only few weeks left before the examination week starts and yeah there're still like two more research papers left and yes yes yes one weeks left before the submission... Dang itt!! why am i super duper lazy nowadays?????? T______T.. It's okay..it's okay.. I just need to motivate my ownself back!! If it's not me then who else right? Yes!! i believe that i can!! *confident* I started this and i must be the one who ended it :) I do have my motivation with me.. My family, myself and that person... If it's not because of these three, i might never be here. Don't give up! Stop being lazy! Keep moving on!